Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Anniversary Reaction

Five years out, it turns out that I still experience a depressive phase for a while beginning on/around the date of that miscarriage. I never expect it, but after a few days of unexplained depression may look at the calendar and realize, oh hey. Lookit that. First week of August again.

Just in case anyone else has this, it's a pretty common reaction to all sorts of traumas. The "anniversary" may be a seasonal trigger, or a weekly one, or even a habitual location. But when you've cried and bled (literally or metaphorically) in a particular situation, the recurrence of the situation reminds your body of those feelings.

For me it's often a seasonal thing: the smell in the air, the quality of the light, the ebb and flow of particular activities.