36 Weeks

36 weeks is only two weeks away from being considered "full-term", although I'd certainly like a riper baby than 38 weeks if possible.

For some reason we had a People magazine (I think) rattling around here recently, and there were pix of the J*lie/P1tt crew hanging out in the sands of Namibia, being generally pregnant and/or incipiently parental.

I wanted a photo for direct comparison, so I subjected myself to the photo-taking you can see here. However, now I believe I pitched the magazine in the trash already, so there is no comparison photo. Only this one. Please keep whale comments to oneself. Also sea-cow comments.

It is indeed strange for one's body image to suddenly gain 30-odd pounds for any reason, even under the supervision of medical personnel. (See butt, below).

Please note, these photos are now two weeks old, and are therefore already somewhat out of date as far as the stickoutage of The Belly.

So let's see, what have I been experiencing regularly but not writing down?

The first things that come to mind are a lot of physical complaints: the incessant reflux (worst at night when trying to sleep), random insomnia, painful hip problems (someone recently compared me to an Irish Setter), exhaustion and absolute lack of stamina, intermittent depression, and for the past few weeks--severe cankles. If I thought this might go on indefinitely, these symptoms might distress me more, but under the circumstances they seem tolerable. I also have a lot more contractions--maybe a couple dozen a day--and some are lasting pretty long now. Gearing up for the Big Squeezathon.

The other thing is that it's much easier to see the wiggulations of the baby, as little pointy body parts move across the face of The Belly, or create a giant "wave" that warps and moves the entire bump. Usually by the time I point it out, it's stopped, so that TheLimey has only seen this a few times, though he has been greatly impressed when he has. There are still hiccups, which are often visible, but they've tapered off somewhat to maybe once daily instead of twice or three times. If I pat the little fanny-area, the baby wakes up and stretches. Hee. And, ouch.

When we were on our little weekend-vacation, there was a noticeable increase in the number of women who started conversations regarding my due date and the likely sex of the baby, and how great it is to have kids, etc. etc. (See 8/14 entry.) I couldn't figure out why the sudden chattiness. Vacation town? I seemed more relaxed or something? Largeness getting to some crucial point?

It wasn't until I wore the same outfit again (not pictured)--which features a "maternity" top that always rides up and shows The Belly--that I figured out that they're responding to the actual Belly being visible, as this outfit elicited a number of "cuteness"-type comments among acquaintances. Shameless exhibitionist that I am, I just really don't care that much (which actually is not the definition of an exhibitionist), and will wear whatever the heck is expedient. It didn't even occur to me that this might be seen as ... what ... daring, or something.

Not until a compatriot pregger in the waiting room at the midwife center commented that she wished she was as "courageous" as I was to wear stuff like that. Psychosocial meaning: it's the kind of sight that engages people's attention and emotion whether they want it to or not. Then the light went on, and I realized that for every person who thought it was "cute" or "courageous", there was probably someone else who found it "obnoxious."

Later at the supermarket this hypothesis was borne out, as a bitter-looking older woman was shooting dagger looks at me (though it's hard not to look bitter when you're shooting dagger looks.) Even when I saw her 20 minutes later across the ice cream aisle, she had not forgotten that I was her nemesis and shot me some more daggers. Well, theoretically I don't care, but it did make me feel both self-conscious and defensively angry. Like someone was shooting dagger looks at my actual baby...which in a sense, she was.

When I was last at the midwife, one of the other women from my Bradley class came out, and she was very upset. Apparently her amniotic fluid was low, and they were going to have to induce her (otherwise they'd let it go pretty much as long as the baby wanted). Induction, you don't want. Especially after taking a 12-week course in natural birth that boasts a 90% meds-free rate. In those cases, most everything you've been trying to do goes right out the window once you're induced (the contractions aren't like normal ones, once you're given pitocin for induction or augmentation.)

I actually drove out to the hospital to see her the next day, hoping to at least get to see a baby. However, she'd been there all night having various natural induction methods tried on her (castor oil, etc.), and still hadn't started. They were just about to hit her with that nasty pitocin when I arrived. Poor thing. In the end, I hear she had to have a C-section. Dang, I so want to avoid that. At least I know she has a ton of family members in the area who have been supportive, so she'll have people to help her through the post-surgery period.

Speaking of interventions...since I haven't been working on the couch belly-down all day lately, I think it's influenced the baby's position. S/he's been in a nice, nearly head-down position (maybe at the 25-minute spot, if my belly were a clock face) for maybe two months already (as determined by hiccup position and pointy feet position), about which I've been very happy. Head-down baby is good baby. But for the past three days, the head's been more at the 15-minute mark and the feet at the 45-minute mark...which is really really bad. Completely sideways baby is even worse than completely upside-down baby.

However, I had my chiro appointment yesterday, and that did seem to help pretty quickly. At the next set of hiccups, I determined that the head was already almost back where it had been. I know, I know...scientifically it doesn't work, etc. etc. But as far as efficacy (as opposed to effectiveness), it sure as heck works for me. I'm in a lot of pain and discomfort, I go in, she does crunchy stuff to my hips, and I can walk and sit again when I come out. I don't know about all this "subluxation" business, or the idea that "pinched nerves" are at the root of all mankind's evils, but as for actual musculoskeletal concerns, it does what I want it to. (And since she's had seven kids of her own using the Bradley method, I will actually listen to her suggestions.)

Finally, what's funny is this: when you're trying to squeeze past something, and you turn sideways as usual to reduce your profile--but your sideways profile is actually larger. (This is funny for other people, mind you.)